I am approachable
How do you handle feedback?
What does receiving praise mean to you, do you shy away from it, deflect by saying it’s a team effort, or just mumble thanks and move away.
How do you receive constructive feedback? Do you deem it as negative and become defensive, put in excuses for yourself or on behalf of your team?
Have a think how it affects the person delivering the feedback. If you shy away from praise will it make them think twice before delivering it again?
Embracing praise
Even if it makes you uncomfortable, listen to what the praise is – maybe question it to help you understand it more. Ask; what part did you like, is there anything that I could have added? Learning to have a conversation about praise will help you to be more open to it and take note of what was well received so you can incorporate it into your ways of working.
I work with someone who is brilliant at what they do, she is a rising start and, whilst being confident at what she does, being complimented makes her really uncomfortable, Her default is to bring in the team; team effort, couldn’t do it without the team etc. This is great, however, if you wanted to credit the whole team you would. This is about owning your part and knowing how integral your role is and wanting to be even better. Self belief is a great emotional intelligent trait to have, it emulates a quiet confidence that draws people to you, helps others give feedback and, in turn, grow themselves.
Constructive feedback
If you’re naturally defensive when it comes to receiving constructive feedback, understand where it’s coming from and who is delivering it. If it’s your manager and you’re defensive, how are you going to grow if you can’t take on board suggestions for working differently. How can they approach you next time without them feel uncomfortable as they know how you’re going to react.
Having a conversation about the feedback will help you understand its validity and where it’s coming from.
Just because it’s not right for them it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It’s important to understand the impact and what the expectations are.
How could it be done differently. Was your way the right way but there’s a communication breakdown?
Question how you can improve, are there examples that you can follow, what are their expectations. What are the follow up steps to ensure you’re doing it right?
What delivery feels like
I have recently found myself in the situation of being a client in a non work capacity and have given constructive feedback to the supplier only to be constantly met with excuses.
It’s incredibly frustrating, there isn’t a pause to find out if my comments are valid, it’s an immediate defence. Does this help me, no because I know the excuse isn’t true and I know that their team aren’t being allowed to develop, they’re being shielded because they don’t know how to give feedback themselves.
Unfortunately, it’s not a situation I can help in a professional capacity as it’s a personal matter.
If you’re a manager of a team and recognise that you need support, give me a call, don’t delay in letting this get worse, it won’t fix itself.