When you think about how you react to situations that are outside of your control would you say you’re reasonable or fair? 

Do you give others the time they deserve or the reaction that they really want? 

Do you recognise when others are experiencing problems or aren’t their ‘normal self’. 

Do you overreact and then regret it later? Would you say you bounce back from adversity or do you retreat inside yourself?

All of these are traits of having low emotional intelligence, but the great news is that over time and with patience you can develop your emotional skills to be a better friend, colleague, manager.

Here are some tips to put you on the road to being more in control of your emotions.

Overall think about your values – how do you want people to see you, approachable, available, takes bad news well, a good listener, a problem solver? 

If the answer is yes, keep those values front of mind when dealing with situations that you know will make you flip and follow the tips below to help you evolve:

Don’t react immediately – find ways to keep calm before reacting, try deep breathing, take a walk.

Take an objective point of view – see the bigger picture instead of focusing on the immediate problem.

Cheer yourself up – don’t let your mood affect others, have a laugh to dial up your endorphins and gain a better perspective
Be empathetic to others – listen to someone if they have something to say to you and work through solutions together.

Be a clear communicator – learn to articulate your feelings, don’t bottle it up and stew on it
Do your best – don’t give up when it gets tough, challenge yourself, step out of your comfort zone.

Be adaptable to situations – change is inevitable. Being flexible is a great skill to have to help you manage all situations
Look for the positive in situations or people – don’t write something off without giving it a fair chance just because it makes you uncomfortable.

Don’t shy away from a challenge – taking control of a situation demonstrates great leadership skills.

Don’t see something as a challenge, see it as an opportunity – every day we can learn something new that helps us grow and develop into better human beings